she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
