so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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