Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
