I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
