she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My bed smells like the plague
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