This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
