You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
