the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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