actually, I'm a sock model
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
