Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
