I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
