Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Two words: nipple clamps
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