i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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