Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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