There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
