Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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