So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
