just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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