party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize