So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
