she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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