can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
