So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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