U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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