another moral hangover. fuck.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
