"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
