she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize