5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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