No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
