The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
