found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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