I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
