Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
