He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
