So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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