look no pants
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize