In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
