how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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