I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
