So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
