Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize