I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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