I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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