I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
