if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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