Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
