I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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