I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
