You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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