My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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