I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
