Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you inspire me to be a worse person
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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