sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
