So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
