We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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