Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
