Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
