he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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