THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
