i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
