you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
