FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
