I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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