I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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