google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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