no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize