I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
