we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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