How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
