She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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