I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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