I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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